dreams i have had

it’s not easy saying goodbye.
some days, i don’t hurt as much.
others, i hurt a lot. i get scared, because goodbyes have always been hard for me. goodbyes have been final. they have meant the end.
you turn a corner, you say goodbye, and then you walk on.

goodbyes have always been dark and cold, a panic.
all of the time. every moment.
goodbyes … i never wanted another.

but this ordinary world, holding me tight, requires farewells.
they are necessary.
they are growth, they are blooms.
turning those corners and walking on is how the sun rises inside of us.

you taught me that.
you were the most important corner in my entire life to turn.
you held out your hand, and said take a chance.
i glimpsed back, at what i was saying goodbye to.
you kissed my forehead and held me close.
the tears were flowing out of my heart, wondering what would happen when i no longer had the option to turn and run.
don’t worry, my love you whispered.
and i knew that this was it.
the dreams i have had, they led me to you.

and i think of you, and i let it all go.
and together, we turn the corner.
together, we said goodbye.
and then we walked on,
hand in hand.

you are my hello.


17 thoughts on “dreams i have had

  1. Sometimes the first step is the hardest. You spent so much time lifting others up, it’s only fair someone was there for you. I’m just thankful it was me, I wouldn’t trust anyone else with the job. 🙂 Besides I didn’t want to be anywhere else more than by your side.

    Lucky me.

    I love you, cupcake. I look forward to many more hellos and not a whole lot of goodbyes.


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